February 2005 Archives

I love the Lord of the Rings trilogy movies. I'm sure everyone loves them for plenty of reasons like the well-written plot, spew of special effects, the grandeur of the epic scenes, the well-depicted characters, etc. But I particularly like it for the fact that the pint-sized Hobbit saves the world at the end of the day *lol* Call me cynical but it's about time an anti-hero protagonist is given credit too, for so often we see muscle-bound Arnie-like characters or tough-face Bruce Willis-type characters say 'I'm gonna save the world.'

In fact, I salute Frodo for confessing his fears having to undertake the given task, only to be coaxed by the Lady of the Elves, Galadriel with 'Even the smallest person can change the course of the future'.

Power siah. You don't feel it? Well, I don't blame you actually. Unless you're a 'hobbit' in real life. Sounds like I'm digressing? Not really. How come when the Divine One decided to give me a hobbit's built, he didn't throw in Elijah Wood's good looks as a whole package? *lol*

I know some of you will give the 'Oh come on...we've talked about this so many times before' kinda look, but unfortunately, The Shire doesn't exist, so it's a harsh world out there for real life hobbits. It's not baseless, and I've got proof to show.

From young, being small in size meant that I was the constant target practice for growing boys who'd wanna prove their strength (or rather, ego). I remembered during my Primary school days, while playing in the school field, I had a bigger kid suddenly picking me up and started swinging me round and round as if he was executing some special wrestling moves from his favourite WWF wrestler. Of course, such trademark moves came with trademark sneers. Having satisfied his ego-boosting move, he dropped me and left with grin on his face.

When it comes to playing games, the other school kids would push me to team up with the girls or put me in 'weaker' teams, for they deemed I'm detrimental to their winnings.

Didn't have much luck in the 'puppy love' department during that time either, for my 'rival' was a tall, good-looking kid who'd wear the title of 'Tok kar king'...'Tok kar' being the ultra popular game whereby one player would stand on one foot and hop around tagging other people out within a set boundary...

Back in my alley of my old shophouse home, the bigger neighbourhood kids weren't exactly great pals either. They'd play their makeshift soccer games or ride bicycle in groups without letting me join them. Only a distant neighbour and his younger sister shared their company with me as we trash the alleys with our skateboards.

As for the Secondary school days, being the shortest meant that I had to queue up all the way right in front of the class. As a 'budding' rawk-star wannabe even at this age, I already developed the mentality of long fringe = long hair = rebel = rocker.

So with that formula in hand, calculating the results isn't exactly hard:

Long fringe + First in row during assembly + Nasty discipline master walking around = Disasterous

With that, I ended up in the discipline master's room countless times and having to endure a nerdy look for the years spent there.

Upon entering Polytechnic, things should've deemed better with the maturity of the teens, but hell no. I was thrown right into a deja vu situation when one acquaintance picked me up and turned me upside down right outside a lecture hall just for fun's sake. I was utterly embaressed when the act was witnessed by lots of ladies out there who were taking a break then.

I also recall an incident in which a student knocked into me while running for shelter from a heavy downpour...and being meager and puny, the resulting collison between my face and his body sent my spectacles flying. Broken specs and a bruised nose bridge certainly looked like I'm a victim of bullies *lol*

Finally, came the day when I turned from a boy into a man...ahh...National Service. Only thing is that people thought I was an NCC (National Cadet Corp) member from secondary school whenever I was in my Army uniform.

It was also no fault of mine that I was issued the faded 'lao jiao' ('old bird', meaning 'veterans') uniform cos the new uniforms didn't come with my size..and I become the target of verbal abuses from Warrant Officers who weren't too happy about my 'deviation' from the others. (Yes, they were THAT particular about uniform colours! Sheesh) Over the years, I've come to learnt that being small also meant that it is easy to pick on.

Okay, I was just lamenting and picking out the specific examples, but you can't deny the fact that the world poses alot more obstacles for short/small people like me. Let's face it, it's not exactly an enjoyable experience to be blocked by a mass of body/heads and smell body odor when it comes to watching live concerts/performances.

People typically don't take you seriously when they think you're 'kiddish'. Even students sometimes want to talk directly to my supervisor instead of letting me handle the situations. It's sad but true that there are people with such mentality. Unfortunately, size and age are the common facade of being authoritative, but it seems that they cancel out each other in my case *doh!*

Even though I've learnt to accept the facts and even try to recognise the advantages (not many :/) of my situation, there were times I felt quite helpless. Take for instance a recent incident in which I witnessed two petite ladies browsing magazines and couldn't reach a particular mag on the top shelf. They then looked around for assistance, with a tinge of embaressment on their faces. There I was, a short distance away, noticing their situation, but not able to do anything :( Finally, they asked a taller guy nearby to help retrieve the mag.

Of course, I could go on about how 'security' is associated with size/height when it comes to the female's point of view, but it'd probably stretch another few paragraphs...

...or should I mention how funny big guitars look on small guys? How odd I stood out in my band photos? And how I could never buy jeans/shirts from mens' department/boutiques? And that friends literally 'lost' me in the crowd in orchard road?

But I'll be kind and spare you peeps out there and start looking for solutions *lol*

Hmmm...painful leg-lengthening surgery. Ouch. Wearing 7-inch platform shoes. No good. Working on fame and fortune instead? That'd take a lifetime. Is there a female version of 'Shallow Hal' out there? :P

Everyone's talking about it, so I might as well jump on the bandwagon too. What I'm referring to is the happenings during the Chinese New Year festive season :)

CNY has always been about celebrations with family/relatives in my case. I hardly visit friends or go out with them during this period of time (probably due to their own family commitments as well). Besides, having a huge group of closer relatives (my maternal granny's side spans four-generation family members!) meant that more time is spent on visits *lol*

New Year's Eve (Tuesday)

Half working day. Was surprised to see 2 tangerines and a card on my desk when I arrived in the office. Apparently, every colleague received that too. It is the most beautiful CNY card I've ever received...huge and decorated with embroidery patterns. While I flip open the card to identify the sender, a red packet dropped out. Almost immediately, my colleague in the neighbouring cubicle, as though startled by something, hastened me to check out the content of the red packet.

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Oh my gosh! $50!!

Turned out that my Head of Department was the mastermind behind these touching gestures. Word has it that he slipped the cards and tangerines onto our desks after everyone has left the office the evening before. And to think that he did all these despite carrying the weight of anxiety and concern over his mother's medical condition (which led him to fly back to his country during the CNY period). Saying that I'm touched is an understatement.

The usual steamboat-based reunion dinner took place at home in the presence of my uncles/auntie's family. Didn't feel like going out after a hearty meal, so I stayed at home playing my Xbox :)

New Year Day (Wednesday)

Stayed at home and didn't do much. My uncles and aunt came down, bringing their kids along. Usually the first day of CNY, we don't do much visiting cos distant elder relatives or ones from Hainan island (China) might dropped by to visit and chat with my grandma. Spent a great deal of the evening/night channel-surfing and amusing myself with the re-runs of outdated Hong Kong/Hollywood movies followed by the usual crappy countdown programme.

2nd Day of CNY (Thursday)

Having said that being in a 4-generation family, we have lots of cousins, and every year, we'd 'mass gather' at one of my cousins' place for tea session followed by potluck dinner at another cousin's place. As always, I'm amazed by how fast my nieces/nephews grow whenever I see them. It's nice to know that one of my trendier cousins commented that my hairstyle is nice :P She's the only one who readily appreciates my experimentation in hairstyles and the band stuff I'm in.

Potluck dinner was splendid with home-cooked shark's fin as one of the dishes. Gambling took place in the form of Blackjack and surprisingly, most of the players were all the elders in the family *lol* It's a hilarious sight to see a table of 10 or more 'gamblers' making so much noise and having fun and all ;) Another group of us indulged in a 'movie screening' (okay, it was DVD on a huge 40+ inch tv), watching a Korean action-comedy, Arahan (awesome show! I really like the female lead *swoons*)

As most of the kids/parents were studying/working on Friday, the celebration ended early around 10+pm (usually, the gambling session would take place till 12+/1am). That concluded 'part 1' of the visits *lol*

3rd day of CNY (Friday)

Slacked a lot on this day going about my daily rituals and just taking things slow. Didn't really logon MSN much as I was 'researching' for Jaguar stuff (as always...hahah). Spent some time on a new Xbox game I borrowed from my cousin (Oddworld: Stranger Wraith' rocks! Haven't had time to try out Punisher yet)

4th day of CNY (Saturday)

My family's yearly Dim Sum feast at The Neptune took place this day. However, with fewer members as my uncles' family couldn't make it. So it was reduced to my immediately family and my 2nd bro's wife (and cute baby son, Osher!) Neptune was surprisingly vacant and we were the 2nd family to arrive despite it was around 11+am. But slowly, more patrons streamed in and the CNY mood was revived. Sadly, there weren't any performances this time :( (over the years, I've only seen Filipino singers, chinese acrobats but no sign of the hearsay strippers in action >_< *lol*)

We then decided that we head down to Safe to check out electronic appliances/products as my parents wanted to get a dvd player. After a long abstain from buying electronic gadgets, the temptation to splurge on these babies was hard to resist. My bro and I eyed on a 29" flat-screen tv for our room while my parents favoured a tv with built-in DVD player. Both items were a steal for the price, so I decided to get my parents what they wanted and fork out half the payment for the 29" since I haven't really touched on my year-end bonuses :) However, the 29" tv was out of stock...oh well.

5th day of CNY (Sunday)

Part 2 of visit. Headed to my bro's house for a short visit before proceeding to yet another cousin's place for lunch. This is the biggest consolidation of all the cousin/relatives in recent years. From toddlers to kids to teenagers to adults to granny, this is the place to catch up with old times and to update one another with the happenings in our lives. Prior to this, such huge gatherings used to take place at my maternal granny's place nearby.

We used to visit my maternal granny's house nearby every Sunday in the past since we were young, but ever since she passed away, we seldom go back there anymore. So it's been at least a few years I've not stepped into that area, so my brother and I decided to take a drive around the neighbourhood, reminiscing on the good ol' days when we were kids. Images of us playing with the group of cousins flashed back fondly. We recognise the 'secret passage'- huge drains we used to trek across to get to certain places...and the parks we used to cycle to and played in before dinner time... The nostalgic feeling was simply overwhelming...so much that I briefly played with the same old swing which is still left standing there as it was years ago.

Having 'relived' our childhood days, we proceeded to my cousin's place.

One of the aunties shared photos of their Hainan Island (China) trip with everyone and the cousins jokingly teased my bro (he's still single) when they saw 2 eligible bachelorettes in the pics *lol* Frankly, they're quite pretty-looking (and young) that I joked that I myself don't mind one of them *lol*

Touching on the topic of singlehood, my mum briefly talked about one of the childhood/neighbourhood kids I used to play with, is getting engaged and I instinctively let out a 'Wah?! So fast/so young ah?!'...only to have my mum jolted back at me with a '27 already still young meh?'. Ugh...geez, I'm turning 27 this year as well. And to add more fuel on fire, she mentioned that his younger sister (whom used to tag along with us when we play skateboard) now has a boyfriend. I remember her as being a plump, naughty 7-year-old girl, only to turn into an attractive lass when I saw her my bro's wedding 2 years back I think.

On a more positive side, I'm quite happy that one of the aunties we went to Thailand with, told my cousin that she thought I was 20 years old :) And also it made my day when one of the waitresses in Neptune said my hair is nice and unique...and called me 'handsome' (even though I know she didn't mean it) *LOL*

Oh, today's Valentine's Day, isn't it? Other than my salmon red shirt, a gigantic chocolate bar from my Head of Department and a single stalk of rose from my Supervisor, it's just like any other normal day for me. We'll see if next year's a special one for me...any volunteers/sacrifice? *LOL*

I'm utterly pissed, disappointed and frustrated at how certain things had turned out at my working place.

Don't ask me what it's about. Basically, there's a great deal of unfairness and injustice that I encountered. So much for being pro-active in extending my assistance to people. And what I received at the end was a major blame for the responsibility I was newly slapped with.

The system has its flaws and it was exploited by other colleagues frequently while I had to take the full blame when something happened just because I was at the wrong place and time.

Then in came the personal judgement on my maturity and bringing in of personal comments. I don't mind if things were discussed in a more friendly tone, but it wasn't. Now, I'm given the ultimatum to avoid the chore completely while the others can bypass the standard procedures cos they're more 'responsible' people when compared to me. Oh well, FINE. I'm tired of being a nice guy anyway. One less thing to give a hoot about.

It's just sad that sometimes, it has to go through so many rules, procedures and justification for something so simple. We can't fax stuff for students. But I did it anyway, for a student who lost her credit card and needed to fax her documents to the police station (but she doesn't have a fax machine). Students can't use our Department's photocopier. But I helped one photocopy a simple document or else she had to run all the way back to request for a duplicate. My colleagues would frown or even make a big fuss about such stuff, saying how I'm breaking rules or 'pampering' the students. I mean, come on...it's not like they're exploiting me to photocopy all their notes, or to fax price lists or something. Is it so hard to lend a hand? Are the rules so inflexible? I treat people like how I'd like them to treat me. Imagine if you were the customer in a situation which you needed a little help in something which doesn't take much effort in resolving...and the staff just goes 'Cannot. Company rules.'

Even as colleagues, I'm sure many people would bend the rules a little in getting things done without being so calculative cos at the end of the day, it's about problem solving and internal well-being, not about 'Why should I help you when it's not my business?' It's these things that piss me off cos that's exactly what some of them are doing.

Well, since they're not appreciative towards what I've been doing, then I see no point in doing it anymore, for they deem my efforts as putting their necks on the chopping board.

At the end of the day, I'm just pissed that it doesn't pay to be helpful, and how ugly people can get just to save their own necks.